steady as we go.

the hard truth:

 

friends come and go.  only a few friends in your life are going to be everlasting; those are the people who are eternally respectful and loving toward you.  They’re not the people who will criticize you for how you spend your time; they’re not going to think of your friendship as an obligation. They’re not the people who aren’t be upfront with you.  They aren’t the people who get others to do their dirty work when it comes to their own issues regarding you.  Real friends–the ones that are going to last–aren’t so egocentric as to think that you are going to fall at their feet forever.

For example:  my friend Mer.  We have been friends for close to 10 years.  No, we have NOT spent day after day together.  There have been months where we haven’t seen each other, but we still try to hang out every now and then.  We both make an effort.  She’s not sitting at home writing mean things in her journal about me because we’re not hanging out more because we both have things we need to do in our own lives.  Of course I’d love if I could see her on a more regular basis, but it’s hard to balance schedules.  We understand this.  This is why we are going to be friends for life.  We appreciate the time we have together but we don’t resent each other due to the fact that lives change.  

Friends who expect you to put in all the effort are going to go.  Friends like those are going to someday fall madly in love and know what you were thinking, and by then you won’t be close to them.  It’s the mutual effort that’s missing a lot of the time–you have to call that person and show them that you want to be a part of their life, not just sit idly by and stew and resent them for not coming up to you at all occasions begging for their company.

 

there was a point to me writing that, but it’s underlying.  let’s just say that i was working out the truth for myself this afternoon.  

 

until then.