a scare

love is hard.  real, unabashed, complete love of another person is one of the scariest things i have ever experienced.  

 

robert has a really bad case of the stomach flu.  I know, i know, it sounds like a petty thing to worry about, but I’ve been up with him since 4:30 in the morning; he’s been throwing up every fifteen minutes or so and he even had some chest tightness at one point so we ended up at the doctor.  He had three vials of blood drawn, an EKG, a shot for nausea and got a prescription as well.  He’s upstairs sleeping now and for some reason I’m checking on him like a woman with a newborn child.

I’ve been trying my absolute best to make him feel better.  It hasn’t been difficult, though..it’s strange how he has come before everything else.  I didn’t eat until he fell asleep recently, I haven’t showered…and I’m not trying to make myself sound like I’m trying to get credit for it or anything, but it’s interesting to me how easily I put him first.  I love him so much.  I’ve come to understand lately that true love isn’t self-serving in the least and this is the first relationship I have ever been in that makes me feel this way.  I think that’s how you know you’re with the right person…when it’s easy to love them and care for them beyond your own selfish desires.

Anyway, better shower since it’s 2 pm!!